I am learning that being apart of a community involves asking for assistance when necessary. I keep hearing about the authenticity of the preacher and I am feeling somewhat unsettled. I am reflecting on my life at this very moment and am reminded of a passage of poetry I wrote last summer that says,” I will listen for your voice in hard to hear places.
I will remember your fragrance and savor it in my nostrils until you speak again. I will sit in our secret place and whisper your name…”
I have been unfaithful in my attention to God and am feeling the sting of separation. Something had captured my attention and although I don’t really know what it was or perhaps I dare not recall what it was, this I do know and must confess, it was not worth the silence I now suffer. It feels like a lover’s quarrel and because I strayed from Him, I must pursue Him and wait.
Is forgiveness really as simple as heartfelt repentance and turning away from our sins? The answer is critical- it’s a matter of life and death.
Struggle. What does struggle mean? What does it mean to struggle internally and look like you’ve got it all together on
the outside? Does God appreciate my struggles? Why does He seem so far away today? Perhaps He is only as far away as I have pushed Him. Perhaps if I uncover my eyes and blink as they read just to the light of the Son; maybe if I remember what it felt like to bask in the warmth of His glow. Maybe I will feel forgiven and then in my soul begin to know.
